True Identity: The Blueprint of Christ
For many years I lived life based on what would be
acceptable when seen by others as opposed to what was true in my heart. I lived
life comparing myself to expectations of me based on what the current trend
was, what the ‘in thing’ was and trying to please someone or something.
Through my years of confusion and seeking to find who I
really was, God has shown me that there is a big FACADE in this world which is
destroying His beloved people. It has crept in like a virus seeks to copy its
host until it destroys its host. The host is usually weakened gradually as the
virus invades their cells. The virus of pretence (A LIE) which is not from God
and is not part of his character, but has been created by the world itself ,is now
spreading and plaguing our society resulting in :
·
Sadness
·
Loneliness
·
Addictions/bad habits
·
Hopelessness/ worthlessness
·
A feeling of emptiness
·
Unhappiness/ low self esteem
·
Feeling lost
·
Burnout/ insecurity
·
Depression.
Just
as We would physically want to
remedy any viral infection attacking our physical bodies and are seen
externally e.g. Influenza virus. We need
to develop a remedy in our inner man and be willing to put up a fight to rid
ourselves of internal viruses that want to alter our true DNA (identity) and
ultimately destroy who we are. God showed me that if he gave us ‘Superman eyes’ and we had X-ray vision; we would indeed try and
repair the internal damage happening inside. Some of us will even try to hide as we would not want to see our
true self or reveal it to others.
We all learn to pretend from a young age
and we all learn to put confidence in:
o
What
our life looks like when others see us(who do I date, single or married)
o
What job we do
o
What friends we have, how many etc
o
How we socialise and who we socialise with
o
What possessions do we have (car, clothes,
house, money ,where I live etc)
o
How many social media friends/followers do I
have
o
Our physical appearance etc (yes people trust
in this).
God has shown me that the issue is that we have ALL
placed our trust, hope and security in worldly material things and in other
people. We are so blinded by commercialism and its drive to make us become
lovers of ourselves and live a life of instant gratification of ‘ME, ME, ME and I need, I need’ then I will
be happy and complete. Unfortunately all these things are bound to FAIL and our hope in them also then fails. A good
example is the loss suffered by many people during the recession. Who knew that
the major banks would fail and that relying on money alone or savings could
eventually fail. Too many examples of world systems failing and If it did not
scare you at the time or make you wonder then ‘you must have it all figured.’
As I talked about in the video that being a teenager left
me confused in who I was. Think about it for a moment, have you not felt
bombarded by voices from the world (media, music, television etc.)? Have you
not had friends telling you what you should be or how you should be to remain
their friend, a family that gives you an identity and expected character or
having a partner who also tells you what you need to be so that HE/SHE
will love you or religion telling you what makes you acceptable even
when you are still unsure about it. This continued into my adult life until I
came to the revelation of my True Identity.
I tried everything the world says is OK to do, just do
it. Do what you want, when you want and how you want. If you feel like doing it,
do it as long as you are not hurting anyone. It is your right after all. I did
it by accepting the so called things that will lead me to happiness. The world
really teaches us to be SELFISH and
to look after Number 1. To satisfy the “things seen externally on us” while
hiding the emptiness inside. Unfortunately these things are not the REAL you.
If they were YOU, you would have been born with all of them in place but the
real you came into this world naked, without awareness of the
world or having personal possessions. The other reality is also that YOU will
leave this world with nothing, albeit with some clothes to give you a dignified
earth departure. All you acquired and
possess unfortunately will remain here on this earth.
I decided to create my own plan to achieving that success
that the world demands and judges us by. I got myself into a relationship and
had perfection as a criterion (the man had to be visibly physically handsome
otherwise it was not OK). I had several friends even if I knew they are not in
my life to complement my wellbeing. I attempted to please my family even when pleasing them was hiding a reality about my own inner sadness. I went on
several holidays hoping to find peace and tranquillity that would be long
lasting. I went to several parties, nightclubs, bars etc. I practised ‘you only
live once’ (YOLO) while out with friends and drank and got drunk even though I
never felt good about getting drunk. I smoked when out with some friends as It seemed
extremely rebellious and made me look cool especially to certain friends who I wanted
to please and be accepted by. I even had flings with men I knew I had no
interest in so I am not single ,lonely
and had casual sex with them to fill
a need for long lasting love which eventually I figured out this was a
false notion ( you cannot get Love from SEX). It’s either there or not. I
flirted a lot just to get attention so I do not feel lonely and empty even when
I knew in my heart I did not want this. After all these things I was STILL
EMPTY. In fact the emptiness became even more profound. I felt enslaved to some
of these habits/lifestyles and supposed needs. It was extremely profound as
each new experience was euphoric but after a while it lost its Wow factor and
there was always a craving for the “next best thing.”
I am going to be extremely candid and open with all of you
by giving you scenarios to relate to which I believe as God showed me that ‘WE’
have all encountered or experienced.
Scenarios:
‘You have finally been promoted at work or you have
now acquired several possessions. To everyone on the outside you have it all.
You got it all sussed but you do not feel complete within yourself. Life is
perfection but you do not feel it as
there is still an empty void within you.’
‘You have just had amazing sex with someone you are
extremely in love with, infatuated with or have a big crush on or your husband/boyfriend/
girlfriend and yet YOU are still empty
after it. There is still something missing after …’
‘You have just had an amazing, epic night out and
when all finished you are now on your own
feeling empty and like there is a void again.’
‘You have just had a good time socialising with
friends or family and yet after it all you get is that all too familiar renowned
empty feeling again.’ Or better yet, you experience an emptiness arising even while you are with them. I wonder why?
‘You are on an amazing holiday. Everything is great
but late at night in your hotel room you
still remain empty. This emptiness is even more profound as you return from
your holiday.’
You have just got married to the ideal, perfect
partner (well according to those who see from the outside) but you still feel
empty. Honeymoon is over and reality dawns that I feel empty inside, marriage did not make me whole.
If you relate to any of the above then you are not alone.
The emptiness returns to us and we often wonder why. The empty feeling brings sadness
to our heart and most of us cannot explain it. If we could investigate
scientifically why we feel this way and get a cure I am sure many people would
have opted for it. Pharmaceuticals are making money from several
anti-depressants and mood enhancers but still this has not eradicated the
sadness, loneliness and depression in our society. Use of illegal drugs, mood
enhancers and legal highs is rampant in our society but despite the ‘euphoria’
these substances cause it just leads to more cravings ,to either fill the empty void
or achieve a better high until it starts to destroy the person’s life through
addiction.
The revelation God gave me is that these things we put
our trust in are temporal/ temporary and do not produce a lasting joy, peace,
happiness and ultimately a lasting satisfaction. They never make us WHOLE. Just
because you see externally does not reveal to you what is going on internally.
Proverbs
14 v 10 says how “each heart knows its own bitterness (sadness) and no stranger shares its joy.” Amplified bible and emphasis
added.
I believe that the Truth sets us all free. Living our
lives by hiding the things that keep us in bondage only leads to a deeper
prison within ourselves and makes it even harder to release them. As I wrote earlier, these things become like
a virus and start to take over our host and ultimately destroy who we are.
Identifying the virus allows us to wage a war on the virus, attack it, defeat
it and remove it from our inside until a blueprint of Who we are is Formed.
For me personally, there was a knowing that there is
something more to this empty feeling and there is a reason I don’t feel myself.
I felt like I was an imposter living a life that was prescribed for me. If you have
seen the movie called The Matrix I truly felt like the character Neo or like
Jim Carrey in the movie The Truman show. I will admit that I felt depressed a
lot of the times when this emptiness came but I refused to accept this and
chose to find a cure so that I become free in my mind, body and soul. I never
required anti-depressants thanks to a Dr who said I did not need them as my
issues where situational. I thank God I met this Dr as I would have just masked
my issues by taking ‘happy pills’ that make you dependant on them to remain in
a ‘state’ of happiness. I do not have a problem with people who take
anti-depressants. I may also add that I do know there is a need in some
people’s situations to take them. It does not stop me believing that we can conquer
those situations that we have identified as a potential to leading to
depression by “nipping them in the bud” on time so they die and do not grow. I
also personally know people who took anti-depressants and managed to stop
taking them and achieved internal joy and wholeness.
A desire to go back to church as ‘I knew’ that’s where
they preach about God grew stronger and stronger in me. I did not feel right or
correct though as I lived with my boyfriend. How could God accept me when I
‘lived in sin’ and besides I felt judged by other Christians even though I knew
God was drawing me back? I felt I needed to be perfect first to go back to God
so I wanted to wait to get married first. What a conundrum this was until I
eventually decided to go to the church one Sunday morning as the urge inside me
was too strong.
While in church, I hid myself as I did not want to talk
about myself and my current lifestyle. God being God, knew this so I went
whenever I felt the urge to go and in time, I heard these verses which struck a
chord in me:-
“God knew you in your mother’s womb” Jeremiah 1 vs 5
God has great plans for you, “for GOOD and not evil, to
prosper you and not harm you .To give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah
29 vs 11
“God wants you to have life and have it in abundantly.” John 10
vs 10 (2nd part)
“God wants to set you free and free indeed” John 8 vs 36
“God loves you.” John
3 vs 16 & Romans 5 vs 5 [this is affirmed throughout the bible in
several places]
(Bibles verses not quoted verbatim)
As time went on, I started to feel different. I started
to believe the above verses so when the emptiness came, I would tell myself
those verses until I experienced a joy come upon me. I began to experience a
new life (literally). I experienced being alive in myself again. This went
beyond any euphoric feeling I got when trying to please myself physically or
when trying too hard to please others. The feelings and experiences seemed to
reach my internal heart and produced joy.
I felt internally accepted. I felt FREE.I finally felt that “I was MYSELF” even when being ME,
did not fit in with everything the world told me to be. What I looked like stopped being so important,
what job I did, what my past and background was and who my friends are or were.
I made a decision to give my life to Jesus Christ in my
mind, body and soul. Making this decision is the greatest thing I have done in
my life. It was significant as God immediately started to reveal my True identity.
God started to show me that:
Ø He
did not create me to feel inferior to anyone
Ø He
did not create me to hate others but to LOVE people(whether they are good or
bad)
He created me to FILL myself in HIM and to be happy even
if I am alone, single, without friends, not talking to anyone. He taught me to
LOVE myself as ‘I am’ in a healthy way. He taught to live in who he says I am
and not base my identity on what I have externally or what the world says I am.
He taught me to be content and not compare myself with others by basing my
expectations through others seen external success.
God is so powerful and does not want any of HIS children
(us) living in an ‘internal prison’ within themselves. To the outside world you
may have it altogether but inside you feel you are dying or feel enslaved by
the world or by habits and thought patterns formed within you.
God managed to breakthrough “mindsets, fears,
insecurities” I had hidden or chose not to expose. My own parent, BFF, BAE
never knew and would never know as I locked them securely inside me despite
having a strong ulterior. God revealed these areas to me. Why? As no-one is
totally free if living a lie or life where you feel trapped even though you no longer
want to live this life? An example would be an addiction to pornography (don’t
condone it) because if it was good you would freely watch it. Another addiction
could be promiscuity even if after you are left feeling worthless and do not
want this feeling any-more. You may be
stuck in wrong friendships, relationships , tied to jobs we know we no longer
fit in but love the lifestyle or have addiction to being acknowledged by people
on social media .You have tried to achieve this yourself but you have failed. In
fact after trying you became more obsessed or addicted to that negative lie
within yourself.
GOD WILL SET YOU FREE as his word promises to do that.
Allow him and come as you are, as he is drawing you near to him. He will set
you free through the person of the Holy Spirit who lives and dwells within us. It may embarrass you but the road to internal
freedom, peace, joy, hope and victory
over people pleasing OR living to
“FIT IN” is to acknowledge God
and all his fullness.
I come to you as someone who has done many wrongs and
have wronged others. in fact as a human being, I am capable of living wrongly
if I let go of wisdom. I however, choose to correct those wrongs through Jesus
Christ. As he has the power to:
Heal,
Mend and repair.
He
delivers us and restores us to wholeness and newness.
He
promotes us and elevates us .
I come to you as a servant of Jesus Christ who wants to
speak the truth in the LOVE of God that loves all mankind. God knew you before
you were born and he still knows you, so your being here on earth was not accidental
despite your entry into it.
Search deep in your hearts and if you are empty or have a
void that has been there for many, many years or a new void which was not
satisfied by a relationship, a marriage, a job, friends , an active social life
or possessions. I encourage you to ask Jesus Christ to come into your heart and
fill that void to complete you. I ask you not to use your physical senses
as
trusting in them has put us in the place of emptiness in the 1st
place. I ask you to go beyond your feelings and say “I want to be loved,
accepted and free indeed. I ask the Lord Jesus to fill my heart and to reveal
himself to me. If you desire this please say this prayer with me.
“Lord Jesus I
accept you into my heart. I confess with my mouth that you are Lord and the Son
of God. I confess that you died for our sins and on the third day rose
again. I ask you to forgive me of my
sins and I let go of living to please myself. I ask you to fill my empty heart
and void in my soul with you presence. Help me to live fully as you intended for
me from the time I was born. Thank you God, for loving me unconditionally.
Thank you for the gift of salvation in Jesus Name. Amen
Recommendations:
- Go to a
Christian bookstore or online book store and buy a bible or download a
bible app as this is the word of God. It is useful to buy a guide to
reading Gods word or a bible
self-study book
- Find a spirit
filled, bible believing church so you do not get lost in the world again.
Pray about it and ask God to lead you.
- Find friends who
love God to share with and encourage you in your walk with Christ. Find
friends that truly reflect victory in Christ and are walking in total
deliverance of the things that kept you in bondage.
- Finally start
confessing your acceptance of Jesus daily and start believing it. Telling
loved ones and someone else helps to affirm your new identity.
I pray God will bless you more and more and share this
with others needing to hear the truth which sets them free.
Thank you reading this article.
Love From
Fatima Denga
p.s. more posts to come as I feel led by God
video link.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AIoYuN4FxI
Below is a video of a song I love about seeking a True Identity.
video link.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AIoYuN4FxI
Below is a video of a song I love about seeking a True Identity.
